Urgh. The week didn't get off to the best start, and now, to top it off, I'm full of a cold. To make matters worse, it's been a beautiful day here in Cardiff; the sun is shinning the sky is blue, and I'm stuck in the house looking out of the window like an expectant cat. I always seem to get colds when the weather perks up, and it's sunny, warm, and not the time of year when people get colds. I must have an odd immune system. Anyway, good news to report from Beckie towers! Had an email this morning confirming I've passed my Masters degree! Am not as overjoyed as I'd anticipated due to the delays, appalling lack of communication and other such foible's but I am relieved it's officially over now, and I can draw a line under this rather stressful episode.


So now that that's out of the the way what do I do now? I'm no longer a student and am officially a grown   up looking for a job. Ekkkk!! That's quite scary! I don't have any studenty things to fall back on. I guess I have to start growing up now and taking charge of my career and life, but I think I'll work on that once my cold has gone!


TTFN

B

Today's post isn't going to be as long as previous ones. I'm struggling to even find a witty title for this post, and, on top of that, I'm feeling rather melancholy and sad. I'm not sure if it's a sign I'm heading for another depressive episode, I certainly feel out of sorts today, but I'm trying to force myself to do something, even if it's only updating this blog.

I spent most of Saturday evening watching the live coverage on CNN of the Chilean earthquake and subsiquent tsunami warnings. I felt increadible sadness for all those caught up in the aftermath. Concidering it was one of the top five earthquakes ever recorded, I fear the damage and loss of life will become great in the coming days. More than 1.5 million people have so far been displaced by the quake, and these figures are set to rise.   These sorts of events always put in perspective for me, the precarious mercy we are under with mother nature. I think we sometimes forget we have no control over nature and the weather, and must ride out with her, whatever she throws at us. I think that's a rather sobering thought.

I haven't been able to update over the past couple of days due to one thing or another, but I've found five minutes to update you on what I've been doing thus far this week. Saturday was cinema night; every week my buddy and I got to Chapter Arts Centre in Cardiff to catch some of the best indie films out at the moment. This time we saw Precious, which isn't so much indie, but doesn't seem to be so mainstream as I'd previously imagined.

I don't really want to write a review as such, but it truly was one of the most harrowing and heartbreaking films I've ever seen. There were collective gasps and hiding eyes behind hands throughout the whole cinema, and I suspect there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I certainly shed many a tear throughout the whole film. I was hard hitting, and left me feeling quite drained afterwards, but I think it has to be one of the best films of 2010 and as previous award ceremonies have indicated, certain to win big at the Oscars in March.

So after that I was feeling a little meloncholy but inspired to keep at my writing. I haven't done anything significant in a while, what with looking for a job, and I think that has sapped my creative juices somewhat. I find it hard to balance my creativity with everyday things, and tend to focus solely on one thing and forget the other. So at the moment I'm trying to devise ways of balancing the mundane with the magical.

I mentioned in a previous post about starting a photography course in two weeks. I'm so beyond excited to do it, I really am. I've been an 'amature' photographer for a few years now, but have been looking to do more structured work and build up a good portfolio of images. I've always flirted with the idea of becoming a photographer. I doubt I'd do the wedding and portraiture of the more retail end, but more art and editorial work. I think it would be a good compliment to my writing side; what I can't express in words I can express in an image. I'm thinking of doing some sort of semi-autobiographical work to begin with; my struggles with mental illness and how I see myself in the world. However, I don't know how confident I am about opening myself up to criticism from my peers just yet.

Anyway I seem to have filled the boredom hole I was in for now, so am off to do some collage's of pretty pictures'

TTFN

B x

We've had another bout of snow here in Cardiff today. The novelty seems to be wearing off, but there's still a little bit of me that squeaks with joy when I see the first few flakes floating silently to the ground. I love weather. I really do. I joined the Cloud Appreciation Society last year and got a lovely certificate and badge for my troubles. I'd love to go tornado chasing in America and feel the excitement and adrenalin rush of coming close to natures fury. I'm scared stiff of thunder storm's but actively try to film them when we get the odd one here and there. I like the way the lightning pierces the sky and the cracks of thunder that make the ground shake. I enjoy mist, rain, fog, hail. I do also like a bit of sunshine and cloudless blue skies, but where's the fun in that?


Anyway, I digress. So, snow, cold and freezing rain. Enjoying my umpteenth cup of tea today I start to feel a bit uncomfortable with my current situation. I'm still waiting to hear from my university about my Masters degree results. I've patiently waited since December not hearing a thing, and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I feel in limbo; not sure what to tell potential employers and not sure what to put on my CV. The whole thing has been a labour of love from day one, but I'm not glad it's over and want to move on to the next chapter in my life. I'm not sure what this chapter will be called, but it involves trying to find a job, doing more creative thing's and aiming for a more healthier lifestyle.


I've been actively seeking gainful employment for over a year now, and times are getting desperate. The Job Centre have helpfully sent me to a company that are part of the Flexible New Deal. I'm still in the dark about what the New Deal thing actually is, but it involves me spending two hours every week telling someone I've applied for X, Y, and Z job and that I have some sort of barrier to finding work. The first session was a group one, with a wide variety of job seekers all a bit disillusioned with the system. Some, like me, didn't need the help in filling out application form's and doing CV's, but, we've all been lumped into the same group. apparently Flexible New Deal doesn't do positive discrimination. So I'm taking two steps forward and three back. I am grateful for the help, it just seems like organised chaos to me.

However, I will take the bull by the horns and bite the bullet and get on with it. I'm starting a photography course in two weeks which I'm focusing my creative energies on. I'll be posting more about that tomorrow, but for now I bid you adieu.

B x

After setting up many blogs on many different websites, I came to the conclusion that I should be utilising my own website more. So, I present Musings From the Dining Room Table, a less formal insight into myself and what I'm up to at the moment. My dining room table has seen many things in its short life with me, so I'm hoping it will be the place where I can conjure forth great posts of wit and wisdom. Failing that, this is just a space for me to write about things I like/dislike/find cool/ etc etc. So welcome, willkommen, aloha and I hope you can find the time to pop in and see what's going on.

B x